


When the Boss is Away...

by MistyBeethoven



Category: Agatha Christie's Poirot (TV)
Genre: Cunnilingus, Desk Sex, F/M, Love, Naked Female Clothed Male, Oral Sex, lemings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 00:48:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistyBeethoven/pseuds/MistyBeethoven
Summary: When Poirot is away his employees will play.Or...Captain Hastings and Miss Lemon find an interesting way to make Poirot pay for not buying a new typewriter.





	When the Boss is Away...

**Author's Note:**

> Noticing the unfortunate lack of Hastings/Lemon smut I decided to fix the problem myself.

They had been watching Poirot all afternoon, waiting for the moment the little Belgian would finally choose to leave his office. Hastings was reclining on the couch, a newspaper in his long fingers; Miss Lemon was in her office, cursing her uncooperative typewriter and glancing repeatedly at the clock that her employer had bought for her instead of what she had truly wanted.

At around half past two, Poirot finally arose from his desk, and looking at his watch, announced that he would be leaving the office.

"How long shall you be gone then?" Hastings asked. "Do you need me to come with you, old boy?"

"No," Poirot replied shaking his head. "It is just to see the good Chief Inspector Japp about some matter."

"How long will you be gone?"

Poirot finished putting on his coat and scarf. He looked at himself appraisingly in the hallway mirror. "I will probably be gone for an hour or two, Mon Ami."

The little bald man tore his eyes away from his reflection to offer his friend a smile. He turned to look in the little room where his secretary sat still fidgeting with her typewriter. "Au revoir Miss Lemon."

"Goodbye Mr. Poirot. If you happen to see a new typewriter..."

"Toujours aussi amusant," Poirot smiled, tipped his hat and walked out the door.

Miss Lemon appeared in the doorway to her office after a few seconds. "Thank heaven! I thought he would never leave!"

She walked over to Hastings and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"I say, though, do you really think he will be gone for an hour or two? I mean, there's no chance of him coming back early, is there?"

Miss Lemon sighed. "There's _always_ a chance, Arthur. That's what makes doing this here so _exciting_!"

Arthur nodded in agreement. They had realized they were in love and consummated their relationship months ago. Since then they had been making love at either of their places every night when work did not interfere. It was a few weeks ago that they had discovered that having sex in the office while Poirot was absent provided its own thrills.

Hastings passionately kissed Miss Lemon, lifting and swirling her about. She giggled like a schoolgirl, something the Captain had not previously believed her to be capable of before their relationship had evolved.

His fingers started to unbutton the back of the dress she was wearing.

"In your office, do you think?" Captain Hastings asked.

"No," Miss Lemon said. "In _his_."

" _Really_?" Arthur said somewhat shocked.

"I want to get back at that old so and so for not getting me a new typewriter. ' _Toujours aussi amusant.'_ Thinks he's a clever one! Hmmphh..."

"You don't think he'll find out, do you? I daresay, these type of shenanigans can get the both of us fired."

"I'll make it worth your while," Miss Lemon smiled up at him invitingly and gave his cock a little squeeze through the fabric of his trousers.

Hastings could not argue. Neither could his cock. He let Miss Lemon guide him, her hand still clutching his penis to Poirot's office.

"I want to do it on _there_ ," she said finally releasing her hold and staring at the desk.

It was sheer lunacy, Arthur thought, his mouth opened. "You want to make love on Poirot's _desk_?"

"That is what I was thinking," the red head smiled gleefully. She truly did have a naughty mind lurking behind those kiss curls.

"I'm not sure," Arthur shook his head looking down at the desk. "I just..."

Miss Lemon was on her knees in a heartbeat. With hands used to fidgety work she undid Arthur Hastings pants and lowered them; she then grabbed his waiting member. She gave it a few strokes, feeling it give a few twitches before she took it in her mouth. Arthur gasped at the feeling of her warm and soft tongue playing with him.

"Now I say...unhhh...I-I say..."

Felicity Lemon took her mouth away from the fully engorged cock that had once filled her mouth; a thread of her spit formed a bridge from its head to her lips. "You were saying, Captain Hastings?"

"I was saying...I was saying please don't stop," Arthur said breathlessly.

"Good," Miss Lemon smiled. "I had hoped that was what you were saying." She then quickly returned the leaking cock to her mouth.

After a few more suckles and licks, Arthur Hastings came inside Miss Lemon's mouth.

She swallowed it in the most dignified way.

"Are we finished now," Hastings said.

"We most certainly are not," Felicity said. "I am very _very_ wet Arthur Hastings and you have to return the favour."

"I will...I will Felicity. But why not at your place tonight? Wouldn't that be a jolly lot better?"

To her credit, Miss Lemon gave it some consideration. She then proceeded to let her dress fall to the floor. She stood beside Poirot's desk in nothing but a black garter and a white bra. She apparently had foregone her underwear in case of such circumstances. Arthur watched as she then turned around and shoved everything off of her employee's desk and immediately thereafter sat in the middle of it; her legs were partly spread so her lover was given a good view of what was being offered to him.

"Felicity this is very tempting, I must say, but we really can't."

Bringing a hand to her head, Miss Lemon set loose the hair she had so perfectly set. It fell in fiery strands apon her creamy white shoulders. "Captain! I am _very_ wet and I am not moving.  I think I am getting more wet just sitting here staring at you in all of your glory. Hercule Poirot's desk is in imminent danger of being tarnished from all of this moisture. You'd better come and lick some of this up or we will both be in trouble."

Hastings looked down at the sight of his trousers still pooled around his ankles and his spent penis. He looked back at Lemon. She looked incredibly beautiful sitting on the desk, like a dirty Renoir painting. Smiling, he walked towards her. Felicity lay back, spreading her legs more as her love put his head between them and began to use his tongue on her.

Miss Lemon squirmed in delight as Captain Hastings sucked on her clitoris occasionally stopping to let his tongue enter her vagina and lapped up the fluid that was coming fast.

Arthur paused for a moment. "I don't think this is working," he teased playfully. "You're getting more wet by the second."

Felicity just moaned, feeling herself close and wanting to come before she went half mad.

Arthur smiled. His tongue returned to her opening as his fingers started to pinch and rub her clit. With a loud cry, Hastings was sure the neighbours would have been deaf _not_ to hear, Felicity climaxed; her body was spasming violently.

Licking up the little torrent her body had released, Arthur stood. "I must admit that _is_ my favorite lemon juice. Now we can get started on fixing up Poirot's desk. The old boy won't be too happy if a paper is out of place."

Miss Lemon sat up, her eyes still dazed with pleasure. They came to rest on Arthur Hastings' penis. It was looking quite angry again.

"Wouldn't it be a wise idea to take care of _that_ first?" Miss Lemon said. She took off her garter and hung it on the erect cock, smiling at the sight of it as it dangled there.

"Yes I think we better. But not on the desk this time, _please_?" Arthur pleaded.

Felicity smiled. She got to her feet and walked to where Poirot usually sat. Pushing the chair away she bent over it. Hastings grinned, stepped behind her and gave her ass a little slap.

"Ohhh...I like that," Miss Lemon purred. "I've been a _bad_ and _naughty_ girl, Captain Hastings."

"I think I need a spanking too," Arthur said. "I like doing this under his nose. He's always looking down on us. It's fun to think we're finally putting one over on _him_ for a change."

"I'll discipline you good and proper tonight, Arthur," Miss Lemon remarked. "Right now we've got other matters to attend to."

Captain Hastings smiled. He undid the hooks of her bra and threw it to the ground. His hands reached around and cupped each breast, feeling her nipples become hard as he did so. She moaned leaning into him, feeling the hardness of his member against her buttocks. She rubbed her ass against it and felt Arthur's precum moisten her crack.

"What are you waiting for, Captain Hastings?" she asked. "Your engine is started; Get behind the wheel and drive."

With no hesitation, Arthur entered her from behind, giving her nipples a friendly squeeze as he started to thrust.

Felicity matched his thrusting enthusiastically. She bent closer to the desk, her red hair spilling onto it. Her breasts were pushed against both Arthur's teasing hands and the wooden surface of the desk.

"Ahhhhh....unnnhhhh..."

He removed his right hand to gently stroke her vulva, enjoying running his fingers through the soft hair before dipping a finger inside to rub her clit. She started to breath heavily as he intensified his thrusting and the attention paid to her bud. She was rocking with him, matching his movement. Hastings bent over nearer to his lover, removing his now wet finger from her crotch. He placed both hands over Miss Lemon's which were splayed on the desk. Their fingers became laced. He buried his head into the crook of her neck, her flame colored hair brushing against his mouth.

" _I love you, Felicity_ ," he whispered into her ear.

" _I love you, Arthur_ ," she said and Arthur felt her body convulse as she came. He thrusted a few more times and came shortly thereafter.

Both stayed bent over the desk for a moment, spent and exhausted.

After a minute or two, Arthur pulled out of his love and pulled his pants up, refastening the belt. Miss Lemon grabbed her bra, garter and dress from off of the floor. She got redressed quickly, asking Arthur to help her with the back.

She looked at the papers and items that had previously been on Poirot's desk lying scattered on the floor.

"Dear me," she said. "I think we _should_ get to work putting things in order."

Arthur brought a hand to his face, smelling his fingers. "I'll help you after I wash my hands."

Felicity smiled. "I guess I should check the desk for stains."

"You don't suppose there are any!" Hastings exclaimed.

Miss Lemon came and stood next to Captain Hastings. They both examined the desk's surface. "It looks fine," Felicity said.

"Surprisingly yes," Arthur smiled.

He looked down at the woman he loved. She smiled up at him. Arthur grabbed Felicity and kissed her passionately on the mouth. "That was an afternoon well spent I would say."

"It's one for the files," she smiled. "D for Dirty Desk Sex."

* * *

Poirot and Chief Inspector Japp were enjoying dinner at a little restaurant not far from Whitehaven Mansions. Both men had finished their meal and enjoyed dessert. Twice. Poirot looked down at his watch for the fifth time.

"Why do you keep staring at your watch, Poirot?" The Chief Inspector asked. "Someplace you have to be?"

"No, no Mon Ami. Rather I am making sure that I don't arrive _too_ early."

"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

Poirot smiled at his companion. "We have been through a lot together have we not?"

"Yes," Japp nodded.

"I can tell you anything, n'est-ce pas?"

"Poirot, you know you damn well can."

"Well, Miss Lemon and Captain Hastings have started to see one another and they like their alone time so I go out of the office when I can."

"I don't get you, Poirot."

"They like to be alone together."

Japp stared; he still did not comprehend.

"I am saying that Miss Lemon and Captain Hastings like to fornicate in my office when I am not around!" Poirot said in exasperation and then looked quickly around to make sure nobody had heard him.

"Fornicate? Oh! You mean a little hanky panky!" Japp said the answer finally dawning on him.

"Yes," Poirot sighed in relief.  "They like to think they are getting away with it, pulling one over on the great Hercule Poirot! I can smell very well though. The perfume it does not mask it. And they do not put things back quite right. Still I like to keep them happy. I like them to be happy and they are doux tourtereaux," Poirot smiled happily.

"They don't suspect about us yet, do they?" Japp said in horror.

"No. I keep that to myself," Poirot patted the other man's hand.

"Good," Japp said his fear momentarily assuaged.

"There is just _one_ thing though," Poirot said concerned.

"What's that?" Japp asked.

Poirot frowned. "They had better leave my desk alone!"


End file.
